Work

7 days and an average of 10 hours a day. I guess I can be accused of much, but it will never be for not working hard and trying my best to move forward. I can feel it in my bones that I will make it. My “make it” is no longer a house and a few nice cars. My make it now consists of things that people like me are not allowed to fathom. For those who hate me, you will hate me more, to those who love me, please keep me in your prayers. I will make it up to you. Sorry I am not there but I must do this.

 

Motoo

You are a reminder of how the best things in life I lost chasing the one’s that gave up on me. It is hard to imagine the foolishness I have showed in my decisions, now that I can actually see. Your presence was soothing and your love for me is the only thing that can override my worst fears. 

I hope that all is not lost, for if it is, so is my hope of ever truly smiling again. I know you do not wish to speak to me, but if you would, all I would ever say is that I am sorry and that now more than ever I need you to look at the good in me, because I need you to tell me that I am heading in the right direction.

3 days

I have not slept more than 2 hours in succession at a time for last 3 days. Trying with all my might to make it happen for everyone,  but I must do it alone. Sometimes it feels as if God is no longer interested in allowing me to redeem myself.  My drive further suffers when I feel so horrible, feeling I won’t be able to make it up to some people.  I even prayed for enough success to just repay my debts.
I now fully understand what hanging by skin of your teeth means.

One breath

” The best and the worst thing, in the same breath”

Sammy

I am sorry

What I learned a very hard way. I promised myself that I will apply my beliefs to my actions.  I went the wrong way and it took some major pain to me and others for me to learn this. I am sorry for what I did.