I absorbed so much shit that I didn’t do. There are times when I just want to give up. I know no one gives a fuck and good riddance to me, but I am trying to put this mother fucker of a life together. I just don’t want people to be disappointed in me anymore. But it almost seems impossible at times.
What does it mean when driving down the road you start to think that if I flip this junk how many flips will it take to crush the roof and snap my neck.
But there is something in me that disallows this. I am not afraid of death never really was. But I am afraid to not see some little people through.
Sometimes I just wish I could give up.
We keep lying to each other and others, while the truth stares us dead in the eyes. You make me, all of us suffer because you are stubborn
Come on now you know that place you want to give away is mine. Until the end of time.
To the people who lied and smeared my name. I have not forgotten.
I am a flawed man. I have made mistakes, I have done things that I regret every single day. I have hurt people who loved me and broken promises and trust. Yes I have done those things. I am guilty of it and as such I work day and night to fix it.
I am a person. A person no one believed when I needed some to. I was upset, I was angry but I now understand how and why that could have happened.
I am wrong in my assumptions of what other people value, seek or need. Just because I don’t value something it doesn’t make it less valuable to others.
I was innocent, yet I was prosecuted for things I never did. I see how that happened and how my actions lent to that.
I ran when I should have stayed and I fought when I should have walked away. My temper used to be my own worst enemy. It is no longer the case.
It is time. I have found my groove, I now know where I am going, I now know who and what is important.
But, all that has changed. I sat there and found my flaws, I am taking responsibility for me. However that now includes that I no longer suffer for what I did not do.
It is time to pay my debts and collect what is owed.
Maybe you think I am beyond salvation.
Maybe you believe I will not change.
Maybe you will be shocked by your own deception.
But I will never become what you wish me to be.
You are wrong.
Come test your ignorance. I promise you this time, it will hurt.