Monthly Archives: August 2014


I miss that little kid. I miss her so much that my thoughts become peppered with what if’s and how and where’s. It is paralysis while still outwardly functioning, if only by muscle memory. I have turned various shades of blue denying my accusator,  it has perhaps less effects than a placebo pill on a stage 4 cancer patient.  While my musings here are a vague attempt to disguise my anger and anxiety over the matter. Driving by a little kids school watching parents take them too or from is an exercise in enduring pain I cannot attempt to describe.  I pray for every man and woman to have the good fortune of tucking their child into bed or make them their favorite breakfast,  I can’t help but yearn for mine.
In short, death means nothing but not before I make it right. After that it maybe just what the doctor ordered. 
I want you to know my little princess,  with all my flaws, I will do anything for you, I am struggling beyond compare but I will make it right with you.

Love, daddy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fuck it! this is how I feel

From NBC4 LA : Man Killed in Shootout

I thought you might be interested in this story: Man Killed in Shootout,–272391781.html

Sent via the NBC4 LA Android App.

Download the app

Leave a comment

Filed under Fuck it! this is how I feel


This is one of the SADDEST stories ever told in Hollywood. His name is Sylvestar Stallone. One of the BIGGEST and Most famous American Movie superstars. Back in the day,Stallone was a
struggling actor in every definition. At some point,he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewellery and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes,he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to any
stranger. He didnt have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold it at $25 only. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later,he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie,ROCKY. He wrote the
script for 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in
the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR. Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. Afew weeks later,the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie. But NOT him. He said NO. He had to be

After a while,the studio agreed,gave him $35,000 for the script and let him star in it! The rest is history! The movie won Best Picture,Best Directing and Best Film Editing at the prestigious
Oscar Awards. He was even nominated for BEST ACTOR! The Movie ROCKY was even inducted into the American National Film Registry as one of the greatest movies ever!

And do You know the first thing he bought with the $35,000? THE DOG HE SOLD. Yes,Stallone LOVED HIS DOG SO MUCH that he stood at the liquor store for 3 days waiting for the man he sold
his dog to. And on the 3rd day,he saw the man coming with the dog. Stallone explained why he sold the dog and begged for the dog back. The man refused. Stallone offered him $100. The
man refused. He offered him $500. And the guy refused. Yes,he refused even $1000. And,Believe it or Not,Stallone had to pay $15,000 for the same,same dog he sold at $25 only! And he
finally got his dog back!

And today,the same Stallone who slept in the streets and sold his dog JUST BECAUSE he couldnt even feed it anymore,is one of the GREATEST Movie Stars who ever walked the Earth!

Being broke is BAD. Really BAD. Have You ever had a dream? A wonderful dream? But You are too broke to implement it? Too tiny to do it? Too small to accomplish it? Damn! I’ve been there too many times!

Life is tough. Opportunities will pass you by,just because you are a
NOBODY. People will want your products but NOT YOU. Its a tough
world. If you aint already famous,or rich or “connected”,You will find it rough.
Doors will be shut on You. People will steal your glory and crash your hopes.You will push and push. And yet NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

And then your hopes will be crashed.You will be broke. Damn broke. You will do odd jobs for survival. You will be unable to feed yourself. And Yes,you may end up sleeping in the streets.
It happens. Yes,it does.

You,Keep Dreaming. Even when they crush your hopes,Keep Dreaming. Even when they turn you away,Keep Dreaming.
Even when they shut you down,Keep Dreaming.

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF EXCEPT YOURSELF! People will judge You by HOW you look. And by WHAT You have.
But please,Fight on! Fight for Your place in history. Fight for your glory. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Even if it means selling all your clothes and sleeping with the dogs,ITS OKAY! But AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL ALIVE,Your STORY IS NOT OVER. TRUST ME

Leave a comment

Filed under Fuck it! this is how I feel

Reality star arrested on molestation charges

It’s never enough for some assholes.

Reality star arrested on molestation charges

Leave a comment

Filed under Fuck it! this is how I feel

The end

You are the end.
How does it feel to see criminals get a visit in prison, killers have their parents plead for mercy. People who have killed others,  defrauded, raped and pillaged all get a second chance.  I did FUCKING NOTHING ON PURPOSE TO ANY ONE!  You fucking cunts I did nothing to you. But not one fucking person believed me. I was depressed, broke and left for dead.
Let’s put it this way from now on. I am gone, dead to most of you. Our paths will never cross. We are finished.
I swear to this on everything holy. I will come back for Sofee.
Fuck all of you who brought me to question me. Thank you to those who held their judgements, I will not let you down.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fuck it! this is how I feel