Monthly Archives: August 2015

Loud

When someone baits you into hate, you must walk away. Keep your distance, sounds easy right? Not so much when you find yourself tethered to them. It is a hamster wheel from hell propelling a life support system. So tempting to just leave, but you know that the impact of your relief is never ending pain for people you love. It is like being hostage to your own loyalty to those who could care less.
It is as if your duty dictates to save the one’s who can literally watch you die and will never thank you or even understand what you did for them. A thank you is far, a smile is too much, maybe just a little less judgement from those who don’t understand the silence of a man with a very loud voice.

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I can’t

Sometimes I just can’t do this. I so badly just want to give up. It’s hell to recall memories and to stay calm. I don’t even recognize myself at times.

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Silence

People don’t understand silence. They seem to fear it, get annoyed by it and seem to think you do not care. They believe silence to be admission of guilt. I am silent because my words will not heel any wounds, they will not put a smile on anyone’s face and nor they would make anyone believe me. Therefore I say nothing to anyone anymore.

I am silent, because I am never enough, I am silent because why would I want someone to believe me? I had to ask for something that I have given people all my life. So I remain silent, in protest or anger, I am not sure but I refuse to speak. It wasn’t the harsh words of my enemies, it was the silence of my friends and family that took away hope from me. So be it.

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If some only knew.

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Silly you!

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Mommy dearest

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August 19, 2015 · 5:40 am

Smokey from Wildfires

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August 16, 2015 · 7:11 am

Want

Always want what someone else has, that’s how we got here in the first place.

Never were happy within,
Our heart were broken to begin with.

Quite like this jungle tonight,
It’s darkness broken by a falling stars light,
Maybe there’s hope,
Where there really wasn’t any to begin with.

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