Tag Archives: life

Alone love Terror

You are alone because of your arrogance, or your inability or your decision not to compromise and mostly because of your restrictive understanding of loneliness. None of these have anything to do with luck or God. So quit blaming everything and everyone else. Loose the attitude, come down a few notches or heavens in some cases. Quit making a spectacle of yourself only to garner pity and no real consequential relationships. Stand up and fight for whatever your goal is. Carping will not result in resolution. Life will run out if you keep instituting your quixotic standards as your only guide. Compromise and learn to be content. Compromising in love is not similar to compromising in life.
Remember, your are beautiful because someone else thinks so. You are a good person because you behave lending to that fact. Beauty is truly skin deep.Value people who care.

Dying alone isn’t the worse thing in life, never making anyone feel like you loved them is.

Being not loved isn’t the worse thing either, never making someone else feel loved is.

Tread lightly, no one is getting out of this world alive, be it war or peace.

Killing innocent people in the name of God is a sin, call it what it is. A man can justify any act should he decide. There is no more reprieve from your lonesome existence in a blaze glory then it is in you dying old alone an no one to care for you.

You want to fight for Syria, go to Syria, killing random citizens in random countries is against all religious preaching’s.

God is love, love God, love his creation.

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Defy

Remember how much we loved each other? Where I couldn’t stay away from you for a minute? Where you would always wish I was there?

That amount of love does not simply vanish, it is infused in our blood and soul.

We can ignore it, but it is there. You can feel it in a smile that reminds you of me. I feel it in lacking and the abundant.

The world may have given us a thousand reasons to be apart, but all we need is just one to defy it’s cold logic.

 

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Strength

Sometimes events in life are derailing of thought and all plans. You cannot understand how life really is until the one’s who are life are gone. It is a matter of time when you loose the sight of who you are as you realize that whatever you are you saw them in the people you once loved and who loved you. Without that system of checks and balances you are free, but in the worse possible way. A dog without an owner is free but it is no fun. It may work for some but for most it is not ideal. Now as I travel this path alone once again and perhaps for good this time, I wish for strength not company. I don’t wish for help or a shoulder to cry on, I wish for strength. To see through the few good things that are left in me. To at least give comfort the one’s I love that I am not all that bad. If you know me, pray for me, I will be forever grateful.

My greatest wish in life is to help, but my thoughts and life’s practicality could never be balanced. It is not necessary that I do this alone all the way, but it is necessary that I begin this alone and hope that my loved one’s will see it and join me.

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Sleep

One of these days I will sleep.

 Until then I will work and wait for the day I am free. 

I don’t dream of a rescue anymore, no where I want to be.

Nowhere, I trust you to take me.

Here, in this quite outpost a million miles away from you.

I stay alone, but I can be me.

No one to call me a liar or to praise my good deeds.

Just me and my demons dancing by the fire, pretending to be free.

We may lack sleep or your loving embrace, but here we are naked without inhibition.

Away from your dark world, where survival is victory.

Slander my name, defame me to your hearts content, but alone at night that feeling you can’t describe, that is me.

You say I ran away and didn’t fight, Defeating the one’s I love is no victory, to me.

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Musings of the family liar

Why do some of us lie? Is it out of fear? In my case it certainly is not. So why do I lie? Is it for some sort of distorted notion of a noble cause? some twisted sense of martyrdom or is it a survival mechanism to the survive what could be impossible to survive otherwise. Or is it laying ground for failure in relationships and fulfilling some self prophesied  catastrophe?

I could lie just to benefit, however the results prove otherwise. I have never benefitted from my lies, I have rather only suffered. I have also been called a liar because I refuse to give certain information about someone. I would skip the defects and make someone look good. The question is , if I did that to accept them myself or to help them pass some sort of scrutiny of others.

There is a saying, “Men hate those, to whom they have to lie”.  That literally explains my distance from certain people. People whom I have had to lie too all my life. Just to keep them happy and even guilt free. People who can be held accountable for their lack of certain qualities in certain capacities, where I had sought their counsel. Their arrogance that kept them from guiding a young mind the right way.

I lie to those whom I believe, that either they do not care or will be incapable of doing anything for my plight. I believed that the truth will make them fight a battle that they cannot win, so ignorance is bliss. Hence the standard answers to the question, ” Hey Sammy how are  you? I am doing great”. Do I really want to tell them, actually I am hurting so bad that I keep inflicting physical pain to distract my mind from what bothers it the most.

I lie because I do not want to burden those now who were not there then, when I needed them, and are certainly incapable today to do anything about what has already passed.

I lie because my pain and my problems are no one’s business anymore.

I lie because I do not want to share my troubles. Because my troubles are not fodder for your gossip.

I lie because some pain that was inflicted on me, was from people that we as humans trust to never hurt us.

I lie because I am more used to being disliked by the one’s closest to me than I am liked.

I lie because I can no longer bare to think I am burden on your little heart.

I lie because I wanted to protect a utopia, where you lived in bliss.

I lie because it is easier to lie than to help someone understand the truth. Truth which may involve them understanding devastating consequences of their actions or inactions.

I lie because I secretly want to please people I love.

Most importantly, I lie because I do not want anyone to see how broken I am.

And yes, that smile was a lie, so I gave it up.

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Memory remains

image

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October 25, 2015 · 7:38 pm

Child abuse

Child abuse is a strong term, however it’s strength lies in legal ramifications associated. The real child abuse never gets any attention, consider the time elapsed between physical harm and the beginning of it. It begins with regret mother’s or father’s build for that child.
Innocence of children is innocence of angels. You are probably a vermin if you choose to exploit that.
A mother truly has a God given right to her child, there isn’t any dispute there. I can’t imagine the feeling a mother has for offspring and it truly is a privilege to feel that way about another person.
A mother who abuses that privilege is damned, in this world and the next.

The only real compass and belief a child has is words of her mother. To corrupt that for any sort of gain is probably a sin.

When a mother uses her child’s trust to resurrect revenge on her father, she is truly damaging that child for life. Calling the father names, falsifying truths, creating friction between the father and child are double edged swords. No matter how well one can play the victim, the consequences of this blame game will leave only one real victim, damaged for life. That is the worst kind of abuse. It leaves no visible marks but it scars a child for the rest of their natural lives.
Chinese saying “Disaster comes from the mouth”. All your efforts, all the running around, all the higher education means nothing if you cannot raise a good person. For you to pollute the purest is evil, it is unforgivable.
‚úč Stop before it’s too late. Majority of people are not bad by birth, they truly are products of their environment.

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