I am a father, expected to resemble a rock as if I had no soul. I am not allowed to feel things, as my tears do not flow at will. I am not allowed to complain or have feelings, my opinions are compromised versions of beliefs I may have. I am a father so I can be despised by those for whom I exist to serve. I am not allowed to voice my concerns, my experiences are only the present. What good I do, is only in that moment, my ills are forever remembered.
I have to ask if I have a right to miss my child, I have to seek permission to love her as I will. Am I only a source of income or paycheck? Or am I a person? May I be given some respect? May I have some rights?
I am told when I can see my daughter, I am told when I can give her a hug. A child in whom my own heart beats a child I am not allowed to love.
I am treated as a criminal, with similar disdain as towards the unworthy. I am looked down upon if I cannot pay my way throw this world. My love is counted in dollars I generate, but my worth remains a few cents. I am an outcast in my own, I am revered by none I know.
I am only as good as the paycheck I earn or the life I can provide. If I fail or die I will be nothing as that is my life.
Someone once told me, that I am a person, but I think they were wrong, I can be beaten or killed but never be equal to a man.
I am a father, I watch from a distance. No one realizes that the only time I am needed is when something is wrong. Do you think that I ever would want anything to happen to the ones I so love? I can live with never being needed or wanted, I am a father, I am secondary to my family. I am a father, this world will have to go through me to ever hurt my child.
I am a Father, I hope the day never comes when I am the one you need, but I am a father, my life is yours not worth a tear on your big fat cheek.
Just because you don’t see me, does not mean I am not there.