Sofee one day you will

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Hello Mini Annie,

One day when you are all grown up, big and strong. Maybe someone will show you this. If daddy could sell little pieces of his heart to make it all better he would. If I could just put it in words how I miss you, I am pretty sure that a new language will be invented.  Everything I have has your name on it. I spell your name at least 20 times a day. I wake up every single day praying for you and a chance to make up to you. Your absence has taken my ability to be happy. I celebrate your birthday alone every time and pretend you are there. I imagine what you do, how you are. Tears sometimes come out of nowhere but I suffer this because:

You are mom’s life. She loves you more than anyone can, perhaps even me. Grandma made me promise one thing. Never separate or get between a mother and her child. I know this now looking back at my own life.  I would be dead or would have given up  if it wasn’t for my mom. Point is that I walked away so many times from a fight because even if I win I loose. 

I am sitting in a rest area traveling through Wyoming. I just had to let you know that sure as the sun rises, your daddy misses you every moment.  I don’t complain for what happened,  I am not innocent in gaining this fate. At the same time I didn’t exactly do what your mom believed I did. But it is okay,  her anger is only a reflection of the love she has for me or had at least.

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